


There’s Nothing More Awakening than You

by buckybarnesaf



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, I don't know, Its shit, Kudos it anyway?, M/M, Not worth the read TBH, Steve Still Loves Him, This is the First Time I have Posted Something, Tony Doesn't Know How to Handle Feelings, Wanda Cameo, but not named
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:40:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8385790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybarnesaf/pseuds/buckybarnesaf
Summary: Re: Tony doesn't know how to handle feelings but Steve loves him anyway.





	

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

I jump in reply and turn my head to the right to see a tall muscular male, most of his features unrecognisable in the dark of the night.

“I’ve always loved the city, the differing personalities and cultures all mixing together to form one giant rainbow of life. I’ve always liked to imagine what a person may be doing, where they’re going, who they are, and the life they live.” His face never turns from the view that’s in front of us as he speaks, the lights from the city and bridge casting tiny shadows on his nose, lips and eyes. I could tell from where I stood next to him that his eyes seemed to be a light shade of blue and his hair as golden as the sun. “I always come here when I need to escape for a while, to leave my life behind, I see you had the same idea.”

He finally turns his face towards me and I am able to see the strong set of his jaw and the small, sad smile that is gracing his face.

“I guess you could say that.” I mumble looking back over the sight that stood before me. The golden gate was shining like a beacon over the bay of San Francisco, the lights of the city behind it twinkling like stars. I could help but wonder who this man was and what type of story he lives.

“See over there?” He points to a bright light on a cliff over the water. “That’s where I should be right now. Meeting my loved one,” He sighs and purses his lips, “But they’ve decided that they can’t do it anymore.” He lets out a bitter chuckle and shakes his head. “But you know what? They can’t end a relationship if I don’t join in on the conversation.”

I smile a sad smile at his words and turn my head to look back over at the dot. “My brother died.” I whisper into the silence, the air thick with melancholy. I feel the man’s gaze turn back onto the side of my face. “He never told us,” I continue my throat feeling thick. “He never told us what he was feeling. He always seemed so happy, always willing to make another smile or help those out in need.” A shaky breath whistles through my lips, “But now he’s gone. Now my little brother is gone and it’s like a piece of me is missing. Like a hole has been carved in my being and no matter how much he lived to annoy me, I would do anything I can just to hold him in my arms for one last time, kiss his forehead and tell him that I love him. That we all do.” I cut myself off and raise a hand to my lips, trying to hold in the sob that is threatening to shatter my being.

The man lifts his arm and slowly rubs my shoulder in a sign of comfort but the action makes it harder to hold it in so I pull away breathing in a deep breath. I try to hold myself together as I say the most important words that I can to the man next to me.

“Do you love them?” He gently nods his head, his lips lightly quirking up at the sides as he stares out at the distance. “Then you fight tooth and nail for this person. Because there is no greater pain than losing one of the people you love more than yourself in this world just because you were too stubborn to tell them how you really felt. Although my case may be a little different, it’s still the same. I still lost someone so dear to me who I could have saved if I had just noticed the little things and told them how much I loved them instead of pretending he was just my annoying brother whom I didn’t care if they lived or died.” I feel myself getting stronger with every word I say, the heavy feeling of guilt lifting from my shoulders by a few centimetres. No matter what happens, I would never wish for someone to go through the pain that I did; no matter the circumstances. “If you think they’re the one, if you think they’re worth the fight, then you fight, god dammit! Don’t let it all go to waste!”

His eyes look misty as he turns his head back towards a little dot of light in the distance. “Thank you.” He mumbles and I just nod in reply.

“Just don’t make the same mistakes I did. Or you will never live to forgive yourself.” I say before turning my back on the view and walking off.

\-----

Walking into the mansion I can’t help but replay the words the girl spoke to me in my head. The feeling of distraught sadness that could be felt through every word she spoke made me realise the truth.

Tony was scared, that’s all he was. He was scared of being betrayed and left behind by the ones he loves. That’s all that he has ever experienced in this life, and it’s no wonder that his trust has worn a little thin and his belief in love has all but disappeared.

But no way was I going to let him slip away from me, the girls words woke something inside me, a feeling of clarification. The loss of a loved one is all I have ever felt in my life and I could feel the words that she spoke as if they were my own so I why was I so blind to see what is really going on in Tony’s head?

Waking up from the ice had meant a life that not only didn’t include my family and Bucky, but it was a life of new understanding, of new trends, and of new people. I still haven’t caught up on all that I have missed but why would I let go of the one person who reached out to me from the start to help me get accustomed to the new ways of life. Why would I let go of the one person who made me understand and accept myself in a way that was against the law in my time? Why would I let go of the one person who understood me more than I understand myself?

“Hello Mr. Rogers, welcome home.” I hear JARVIS call from above me and I give a small smile towards where I know a camera sits as I hang my brown leather jacket in the coat closet at the front door. “Sir is in the kitchen.” He adds and I can’t help but hear the gloom in his tone.

“Thank you, JARVIS.” I reply as I walk through the foyer to where Tony is hunched over the breakfast bar a nearly empty bottle of scotch in his hand.

“You’re late.” Tony slurs as he lifts the bottle to his lips and takes down another gulp, wincing as he wipes his mouth with the back of his grease stained hand. “Would you like some?” He detachedly smirks at me whilst waving the bottle towards me, nearly dropping it in the process.

“I think that’s enough, Tones,” I sigh, walking over and gently prying the bottle from his hand as he tilts his head in confusion, the puppy dog eyes and pout on full display.

“I asked if you’d like some, not if you’d steal it from me.” He body swings forward on the counter as he reaches for the bottle. I step out of reach and place it on the behind me before leaning my arms on the breakfast bar and looking into Tony’s eyes as he falls back against the stool, nearly falling out of it in the process.

His hair was a disarray of brown locks, that I know would have been from him running his fingers through it continuously, his eyes were bloodshot with purple bruising underneath and his lips were empty of his usual smirk. The sight of him worried me as I know he only looks like this when he’s on the verge of giving up.

“I went for a ride, up to the lookout where you first kissed me after the Golden Gate battle, you know the day when we finally realised all this tension between us was just because were both stupid and we don’t know how to express feelings.” He looked off into the distance before nodding a small frown present on his face. “I met this girl up there, I don’t know her name, but she gave me some good advice and I’d be stupid to not listen to it.” Tony’s eyes focused back on mine and I was finally able to see the pain that he hides so well behind his cocky façade.

“She told me that if I love you as much as I do, I’d be stupid to let you go. She’d lost a love one of hers and she was so regretful that she never got to tell them how much she loved them before they died. I can’t handle the thought of losing you Tones. I know you’re scared about your feelings and trust me, so am I! Everyone I love is gone, and I’ve never had a relationship before the ice but I have you now and I will never purposely do anything to hurt you. I know I’m still learning and I know some times we will argue, and that one of us will do something wrong but I can’t imagine losing you like I lost everyone else, please Tony, don’t make me lose you too.”

His face crumples as if someone had pulled the pin from the grenade of his emotions, and finally I am able to see the doubt, sadness and overall look of not knowing what will come next. “I don’t know what to do Steve, I’m so scared.” He chokes out as a few stray tears start to roll down his face. I feel a stab go through my heart as I quickly round the counter to bring his shaking body into my arms.

“I know you are baby, so am I. But we can make it through this together, were stronger together, we’re stronger as a team. We can make it through anything if we just hold on and do it together.”

Tony nods against my chest and I can feel the wetness from his eyes causing patches on the front of my shirt but I don’t even care, as long as I have him here in my arms.

“I’m so sorry Stevie, I’m so sorry.” He repeats over and over again and I hold him close and shush him whilst placing chaste kisses to his forehead and carding my fingers through his hair.

“It will be okay Tones, I will never leave you.” I pull him back and place a sweet kiss on his wet lips before kissing away the tears on his face.

“Together?” He questioned quietly, the hope shining in his eyes making my heart flutter.

“Together, I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!   
> This is my first ever fic I have actually posted and it is shit as but it is currently the only thing I have ever completed sooooo yeah.


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